God Damn, I Said, God Damn.

So i think i forgot about this thing.
Which is never any good, considering i have many thoughts running through my head, as of late.
Where to even begin???

Conversations with old friends got me thinking...
I don't think i'll ever be happy.
How selfish of me. But that's how i feel.
I feel like i'm always searching for the right person...and when i think i've found that person, reality slaps me in the face and tells me to wake up. I always seem to choose the wrong people...
I feel like i got too comfortable in my past relationships and that's what did me in. Like they knew it was time to royally fuck me over. If i would have kept up the chase, they wouldn't have done the things that they did. But i think its all partially my fault for wanting that person in the first place.
Relationships suck.
Because i'm the type of person who will analyze that relationship for a while after its over and try and figure out what went wrong. Not that i would ever want that person back, i just feel the need to know who did wrong and why it ended. Sometimes i think there's something wrong with me...but then i think everyone is like that. Everyone wants to know.
I just want to find someone who is so incredibly right for me. I don't believe anyone is perfect. Everyone has their flaws and idiocyncracies. But i think everyone has someone out there who is so compatible, its not even funny. I'd love it if my "Mr. Right" would step forward...cuz i'm ready to get this ball rollin.

Do You Want To Know A Secret?

I think I found the right one for me.
It all seems right. Things fit.

He makes me happy.
And I'm really, genuinely happy for the first time in a LONG time.
This is huge.

Yesterday Will Be The End Of You And I.

I hate liars.
Loathe is more appropriate.
I think anyone who can't be completely honest with someone who they claim to care about, is a child and a coward.
Stop playing games please. That's the one thing I beg of you. And stop breaking hearts.
I feel sorry for the people involved.
But they'll learn.
I'll just stand back and watch it all go down.
Its sad because when you really think you know someone, they turn around and suprise you completely...and not a good sort of suprise. I've learned the ways long ago, so i should just expect it. I thought we could be friends. I guess I was hoping you had changed...who was I kidding???

My mum always told me, "A leopard can't change its spots."
Oh how she was right.

Here, There, And Everywhere.

I'm moving.
Now, I'm extremely excited to do so...but at the same time, part of me will miss Tracy immensely. Why you ask??? I do have very close friends here, whom i'm used to seeing quite often. Its definitely going to take some getting used to, just like every move i've made so far in my life, but I'll be fine. I'd love to say I'm moving somewhere exciting, different, and new, but I'm not...just back to San Jose.
Don't get me wrong, I love it there. I consider it home...but I suppose it falls into the "Been There, Done That" category. I'd die to live in Berkeley or Santa Cruz, some place like that...maybe in due time. Right now, its just San Jose...oh well. The good thing about all of this, as a hair stylist, I'll be making way more money there...way more money than i could ever make in Tracy. So I'm just a little stoked about that...just a little.
One thing I can tell you is that I'll miss my best friend terribly. I'm too used to seeing her on an almost daily basis, so it will be a little strange for me...we'll adjust.
I'm excited to meet new people. New faces.
I hope i can find someone to spend time with. Part of me loves being single...but then there's that other part of me who is desperate for love...I'm sort of tired of being alone. But you know, they always say it comes when you least expect it or when you aren't looking. I hope that's the case. I wish i could find someone who doesn't play games...someone who's straight forward, honest, laid back, and knows what they want.
That's the problem with boys these days.

So if you know someone like that, someone who actually acts their age and knows who they are as a person, send them my way.

A Beginning.

Its kind of funny.
I never really thought i would start up a blog, but there's too much going on in my life right now, i though it would be fitting. Plus, it can give all those nosey people a little glimpse of what my life is all about and the thoughts that race around my brain.
So here goes nothin.
This should be interesting.